resources
Dear parents…
A disabled Asian mother of a disabled child, from London, UK, reviews Dear parents… by Micheline Mason. 2008, Inclusive Solutions, Nottingham. Available from www.inclusive-solutions.com Price: £9.95. The reviewer wishes to remain anonymous.
Written by a disabled parent of a disabled child, Dear parents… is a truly inspirational book about the right to belong. The book tells of Micheline Mason’s personal story and also features stories and poems from other ‘survivors of special education’.
I wish I’d had this book when I was told that my baby son may be brain damaged. But like the book’s author, I was able to draw on my own personal experiences of disability in parenting my child. The medical model of disability hindered my life and I was determined not to let this happen to my son; I have always believed in him and his aspirations.
I enjoyed reading all the personal stories of disabled people in the book. I found it particularly sad to hear about some of the barriers people have faced due to others not recognising and valuing disabled people’s cultural and religious identities – just seeing the impairment, not the whole person.
Well done to Micheline for tackling the taboo subject of ’sex, marriage and babies’, where she explores how she internalised negative beliefs about herself and other people’s revulsion at the idea that she might one day become a parent. In some cultures, sex is a taboo subject even without disability and people may not talk to their children about this important issue.
The author’s advice to parents of disabled children is simple: “Assume all of life is going to happen to your child and help them prepare for it”. As a young person with an impairment, I would have liked the support of my family. We are all human beings deserving and needing to feel loved and valued. Non-disabled people may not want disabled people to have children. That is why disabled people need to be empowered to make a change.
I really believe in Micheline’s philosophy that we can touch others in some way with our difference and that the people who are best qualified to support parents of disabled children are disabled adults, who are living proof that disability does not prevent a person from having a good life.
Micheline is an inspirational leader of the Disabled People’s Movement and this book is a true resource to parents of disabled children, who will become the disabled adults and parents of tomorrow. I experienced an emotional roller coaster reading this book and I’m sure that different feelings will come up for each reader, as it helps us understand some of where our thinking comes from and where we may need to make changes for ourselves.